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<html><head><title>dark sucker</title>
</head>
<!-- ====================================== -->
<body text="#000000" background="../back.jpg" bgcolor="#ffffff" link="#0000ff" vlink="#5500aa" alink="#ff0000">
<font size=4 face="Comic Sans MS">
<p><b>The Dark Sucker Theory</b>
<p>
For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light, but recent information has proved otherwise. Electric
bulbs don't emit light; they suck dark. Thus, we call these bulbs Dark Suckers.
<p>
The Dark Sucker Theory and the existence of dark suckers prove that dark has mass and is heavier than light.
<p>
First, the basis of the Dark Sucker Theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. For example, take the Dark Sucker in
the room you are in. There is much less dark right next to it than there is elsewhere. The larger the Dark Sucker,
the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark Suckers in the parking lot have a much greater capacity to suck dark
than the ones in this room.
<p>
So with all things, Dark Suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer suck. This is
proven by the dark spot on a full Dark Sucker.
<p>
A candle is a primitive Dark Sucker. A new candle has a white wick. You can see that after the first use, the wick
turns black, representing all the dark that has been sucked into it. If you put a pencil next to the wick of an
operating candle, it will turn black. This is because it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle. One of the
disadvantages of these primitive Dark Suckers is their limited range.
<p>There are also portable Dark Suckers. In these, the bulbs can't handle all the dark by themselves and must be
aided by a Dark Storage Unit. When the Dark Storage Unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced before the
portable Dark Sucker can operate again.
<p>Dark has mass. When dark goes into a Dark Sucker, friction from the mass generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to
touch an operating Dark Sucker. Candles present a special problem as the mass must travel into a solid wick
instead of through clear glass. This generates a great amount of heat and therefore it's not wise to touch an
operating candle.
<p>Also, dark is heavier than light. If you were to swim just below the surface of the lake, you would see a lot of light.
If you were to slowly swim deeper and deeper, you would notice it getting darker and darker. When you get really
deep, you would be in total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the
lighter light floats at the top. This is why it is called light.
<p>Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were to stand in a lit room in front of a closed, dark
closet, and slowly opened the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet. But since dark is so
fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave the closet.
<p>Next time you see an electric bulb, remember that it is a Dark Sucker.